Team Sports Are Rude

Here’s the thing. I’ve never been into team sports. I know you will all be shocked to hear I was that kid who would much rather have done some tedious homework rather than play a team sport. I played soccer for a few years (kid soccer is a serious institution here in town) but it never clicked with me. I just never got into it. I wasn’t very good at it. Lately I’ve been speculating about why that might be.

I think I’ve figured it out: Most team sports are just plain old mean and rude.

The standard team sports (e.g. hockey, soccer, basketball, waterpolo, football, quidditch) all share a similar game play idea: keep the token (ball/puck/quaffle) away from the other team and defeat the goaltenders. Whenever possible you should steal the token away from an opposing player. Whenever possible you should interfere with an opposing player to frustrate them and prevent them from making progress. If you can be in their face pushing them around, that’s great. Basically, you should make life lousy for the opposing player, and inhibit them in every way from doing their best.

Does anyone else think that is weird or unnatural? After all, here in 2006 we are all supposed to be sensitive new age folk, valuing everyone’s efforts, looking for win-win situations and being co-operative. Why do team sports have to be nasty. I don’t like to be nasty, so why be nasty on the pitch?

I think I like the idea of a team-based sport from the point of view of being on a team. I like the idea that there’s a social aspect. That one is motivated to show up and play hard by the desire to not let the others down. Shared achievement and shared disappointment. All that stuff. It’s appealing. But I just don’t like getting in there and tripping people up and pissing them off.

There are other team sports, I realize, and some of them aren’t appropriate because I’m just not that co-ordinated (e.g. volleyball). But I don’t dislike them nearly to the same extent that I’m put off by the canonical team sports.

What kind of team sport would I like to be involved in? I don’t dislike the idea of friendly competition. I like the idea of teams playing against each other. That gives you a reason to get out there and try. I just don’t want to be in-your-face about it.

I remember in grade 7 or 8 I ran on the school’s 4x100m relay team. I really enjoyed that. I got to try my hardest for my team, directly against four opposing teams, and I didn’t have to be nasty to anyone. It was very polite. And sweaty. There need to be more sports like that.

I don’t mind the shuffleboard/curling type games where you aim to frustrate your opponent politely and from a distance. Those sports are low on the sweat factor though…

What kind of energetic team sports are left that one can play politely? Enquiring minds want to know.

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› sports     2006-04-03 23:56   ...2