cmh: What is up with my body?

Do you know that old joke? The one where all the parts of the body argue about who is in charge? It goes something like this:

HEAD: I make all the decisions around here. I decide when we wake up, when we sleep, where we go. I am in charge.

HAND: I am in charge. I am the actuator of the body. Without me there would be no eating. I consent when the head wants to open the door, it is me who does it.

etc…

ANAL SPHINCTER: I am in charge of the body. clamps shut. See?

Well, I am not having exactly that conversation with my body, but there does seem to be a dispute among major muscle groups unfolding.

ABDOMINAL MUSCLES: We want to exert our authority and make ourselves known. Our time has come. We will create an abdominal muscle spasm. It will feel like a thin thread tightening around Colin’s navel around the front of his torso, parallel to the ground. Lo, we are the overlord, and though the pain we can cause is minimal, just wait until you see the havoc that we will wreak indirectly… We will be venerated forever after this

BACK MUSCLES: Hey… what’s going on. Things were going pretty well around here… We were holding on to this spinal thingy. The abdominal muscles were doing their share around the other side. Now, they’ve gone and had this crampy spasmy thing, and then they expect to get off with less work? Screw that! I am not going to do all the work around here. Now… how can I get out of this… Ummm… I know, I’ll have an evil muscle spasm. <evil muscle spasm> ah, just a little longer, we need to be sure we’re good and torn so that it’ll really show those abs who they’re dealing with</evil muscle spasm>.

NECK MUSCLES: Why is Colin lying around in bed all the time, gee when he’s walking around he’s totally changed his posture. We’re getting very annoyed. I know, let’s stage a little spasm of our own. Colin swallows, muscles cramp and tear, evil clicking feeling ensues, pain swallowing begins.

ABDOMINAL MUSCLES: Our plan is working! Colin is lain low!

So now I have a very sore throat, and a hoarse throat. Just like if I’d been sick, but it started all of a sudden with this weird neck spasm.

I really think all these items are related, and I’m hoping that there isn’t a whole new spasm next week. Damn.