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03 2005
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Random Entry


Friends:
 • Jen
 • Keltie
 • On LiveJournal
Now that’s a fire!

So, [ljuser]jensplanet has been hosting evenings called Chez Jen. These were christmas presents given to friends and family consisting of a dinner for two; menu is the recipient’s favorite meal.

So, Dan asked for steaks. Grilled. This obviously requires a grill.

Now we had owned a $30 BBQ in the past. It spent a sad winter outside a few years ago, and suffered from loose gas seals in the subsequent disassembly/repainting/reassembly process. The last time we used it some flames shot out of the gas control. This disqualified it for further use. (Although for some strange reason we still have it… perhaps we think we can sell it or something?)

So off we went to the most awesome store in the Glebe: Home Hardware. We found this super-cute barbeque, about 18” in diameter, waiting for us. It cost $20.



It is a Keanall Portable Charcoal Grill. Model KD300. I assembled it, despite its poor instructions. Then we got the charcoal out, and I set everything up on the driveway. Now Jen had decided that we should get the ‘charcoal lighting chimney’ which is a super-cool way to light charcoal with no toxic lighter fluid. That worked great.

Nice, glossy, spherical BBQ with charcoal chimney


The instructions then said to pour the hot charcoal into the bottom of the grill. Which I did. I noticed that they seemed to be flaming away nicely in there.

Photo #2, in which if it had begun to snow that might have been good.


Then, things got a little more out of control. Basically our barbeque self-immolated. That is to say, it completely engulfed itself in flames. Totally. Inside and out, on the top and bottom of the lid. Everywhere was a giant ball of flaming spherical barbeque. I actually said (to the closed window) ‘Uhh… Honey!’ but then decided that since the barbeque was literally ‘toast’ I should relax and have a good time!

I was enjoying the show too much to take photos at the best time, but here’s some shots of the end of the experience.

Flaming BBQ devil. The bottom is burnt off, and the inside of the lid


Glowing remains of paint inside BBQ


All there is left to say concerning this incident is: “Manufacturers of the Keanall Portable Charcoal Grill Model KD300, why do you paint your barbeque with FLAMMABLE PAINT?!!?”

Total flameout. Note absence of beautiful red glossy FLAMMABLE PAINT!


I mean, it isn’t an exaggeration to say that the sole purpose of a barbeque is to contain flaming objects without itself catching on fire. How is this purpose discharged by having a nice glossy coat of FLAMMABLE PAINT!!!!

Did I mention that it is the Keanall Portable Charcoal Grill Model KD300 that has FLAMMABLE PAINT!? (Not that Google ever deigns to index my blog anyway.)

On a brighter note, we had great pan-fried steaks last night…

How to appeal to teenagers

Chris just sent me this. He said “You’d never see this public service announcement in the US!”

That’s for sure! (And perhaps it’s not just for teenagers, some of you readers with children may feel you resemble a slightly reduced version of this…)

Edited to update URL

Canada Bashing

Canadians really get off on bashing Americans. That’s for sure. There’s a popular perception out there that only by distancing and differentiating ourselves from Americans can we really come to terms with our own identity.

That’s why I was interested to read an essay by Jeremy Rifkin in the Walrus this month. It looks at how Canada and the so-called blue states could become a more interesting grouping than either country itself.

However, the real point of this entry is to link to a cut-together view of what Canada bashing looks like. (Think the most offensive speaker is well informed? think again.)

George W. Bush

As governor of Texas Bush executed 152.

Today, Bush says: “… it is always wise to err on the side of life”.

He made the comment as he passed a law that alters the US court system to allow recourse to federal courts when “an incapacitated person, or a next friend of such person, has exhausted all State remedies.” This is a fundamental shift in US law.

What an asshole.

Witnessed an Accident

Last week I witnessed an accident. Luckily there were no injuries, but it was a very strange experience I have to say.

It was lunch hour, and Chris and I were on our way to lunch at a local Lebanese place. For those familiar with Ottawa roads, we were stopped, facing North on Merivale waiting in the queue to turn left (west) onto Hunt Club.

When the traffic going the opposite way (Southbound on Merivale) began to move, an old man let his car drift across all 3 lanes of traffic. He bounced up onto the median, narrowly missing a light pole, and drove along the median for while. He then seemed to get a grip and steered off the median and pulled a U-turn.

I decided that this wasn’t right and the guy was obviously having some sort of difficulty. We made various turns and manoeuvres and got behind him as he brought his car to a stop. I got out and knocked on his window. He seemed to be in his late 70s or early 80s. I asked him if he was OK. He said yes. I said I noticed he had been having some trouble. He said no. I didn’t really know what to do at this point. So I returned to my car, and called 911 on my cell phone.

The operator was familiar with the car (someone else must have phoned earlier) and we followed the car north. It continued its strange behaviour. I began to wish I had not got back into my car. Anyway, we went through a freshly red light together, gathered some speed as we went downhill (under the railroad tracks) and went through a medium-sized intersection whose light was green.

Going at a fair clip we approached a queue of cars which was stopped at a red light (at Viewmount). As the distance between his car and the queue closed I decided that he wasn’t seeing the other cars. Sure enough, he plowed right into the back of one of the cars — travelling at speed. He never touched his brakes. The rear car slid forward into the back of a van, which slid forward into another vehicle, and so on. There were four or five vehicles affected by the accident.

Now I was really wishing that I’d taken the guy’s keys away a few intersections back. Anyway, I went over to the guy’s car and told him that he had had an accident. He was in the process of trying to get his car into reverse to back away. In the end I had to pry open his door and turn off his car myself.

He was very confused and kept repeating something like ‘I never touch’ or ‘I touch?’. To make a long story short, he basically appeared to have no memory of the incident, or even of recent events. He had to be prompted about his name. He didn’t remember what he’d eaten for breakfast that morning. He didn’t know where he was coming from or driving to. In short, he was in rough shape. Eventually an ambulance showed up (with the world’s snottiest crew who dispensed inaccurate information) and they eventually decided he needed to go to the hospital. A good idea in my view, as I think he may well have been having a stroke (‘Sir, there’s no way he’s having a stroke, he wouldn’t be walking around.’ — Geez, how do these paramedics pass their tests anyway?).

So, I had to write a two page report. The guy will most likely lose his license. If he didn’t have a stroke then it could have been that he is a diabetic or simply over/underdosed on his drugs or something. Poor guy, this one event could well change his life.

Anyway, as many have pointed out, he could have easily rammed a pedestrian rather than a line of cars; I feel OK about having done my best in this situation, but if someone had been badly hurt I would feel terrible for not having had the wits to take his keys away at the start.

In other news, I know the driver of the car that was plowed into. Small world.

Apartment Renovations

Well, some of you have been over to our place in the last little while and have been enjoying the lovely renovations that we are experiencing. Our building was sold a few months back, and the new landlord is putting a second bathroom into the main floor apartment (too weird). He is also changing the kitchen and the existing bathroom as well.

This has been — to put it mildly — a giant pain. This letter is the result.

This letter is to share our experiences with the recent construction project in our building, and to ask for some consideration to mitigate some of these issues.

First let me say that we understand your desire to improve apartment 1, and having seen the work underway we certainly think the renovations will be a good thing and will attract good tenants. The renovators have been generally considerate and polite as they have been completing the work — being particularly responsive when they need to move their vehicles when they block us in.

Any major renovation project, however, has significant effects on the occupants of a building. One significant problem we’ve experienced has been smoking in the building by contractors. As you know this is a non-smoking building; we moved here from a building which was having major smoking problems, largely because we are both sensitive to the smoke. We appreciated your instructing your crew not to smoke when we met earlier this month. Due to the large number of rotating crews it seems that it isn’t really possible to ensure a non-smoking environment as new crews start smoking as they take over the job.

The renovation has involved tearing out walls, installing ceilings and floors, demolishing fixtures, plumbing and electrical work, in short almost all the housing trades. An inevitable consequence of this is constant drilling, pounding, sawing, cutting of pipes and hammering. Vibration from sledges and saws rocks the whole house, to the point that some objects can be dislodged from shelves and fall to the floor. While you expected that most of the disturbing work would be completed within the first few days, I’m sorry to say that very loud disturbing noises happen on most days, including last Saturday.

Since Jen generally works from home 75% of the time, the noise and smoke has required her on several days to leave the house in search of somewhere else to work.

The inevitable mess associated with the project has also been a problem. We and our guests have been dealing with huge quantities of dust and plaster residue throughout our apartment. We clean the apartment only to find that a thin layer of dust is blanketing surfaces the next day. Dust gets tracked in from the stairs and other areas as well. You can imagine the problems we are having with items like bedding and upholstered furniture as the dust settles into them. This problem is affecting me particularly as I am allergic to dust.

Another problem area has been the basement. Waste from the construction process has been falling into the basement areas, and after the first few days of staircase destruction it has not been cleaned. I have had to thoroughly clean the interior and exterior of the washer and dryer at least five times, as bathroom work seems to be vertically above this area. Despite the placement of a blanket over the washer, dust, stones and wood splinters need to be picked out of it before each washing session, and a full tank of water run through it. On one occasion I had to clean cement off the top of the washer after the blanket had fallen off. The washer’s drain sink is running slower than ever, despite the fact that on each cleaning session I have swept out the sink before running water down it.

The floor in the basement is littered with small pieces of plaster, metal fragments from iron-pipe cuts, screws and bent nails. We do not have steel-toe boots like the workers, and so I would say that in addition to being an inconvenience, this is a danger area that needs to be addressed.

I’m sure you can imagine the unpleasantness of being shaken awake from the vibrations of demolition, to the sound of sawing and pipe cutting, and to the aroma of cigarette smoke coming through the floors into the apartment.

Trying to live and work in these conditions has been very challenging. Our lease specifies a covenant for quiet enjoyment, in a non-smoking environment fit for habitation. Reasonable standards of cleanliness are impossible to maintain. In short, we have been unable to enjoy our apartment this month.

While we certainly appreciate your right to renovate the first floor, we ask for your appreciation of our right to these basic living standards. This is why we are asking you for a rent abatement or rebate for the month of March.

Hey — it’s worth a shot.

Thoughts Requested: Radio

I have been offered a co-host’s chair for a program I very much like on the local campus radio station.

The show plays folk music, and runs 1.5 hours per week on Sunday around lunchtime. I would likely do the show every second week.

I am very tempted to do this. Actually, I have practically decided to do this. The only two scary things are:

1) I would actually have to have something useful to say about this music. There are certainly people in town who know more about this music than I do…

2) I would likely do the occasional interview, which would require me to sound like a normal human while talking to ‘people of renown’.

I would have to figure out how to fit the preparation time into my schedule, and budget for CD purchasing. But it kinda sounds like it would be a good time, and I kinda think that I want to do it. So, panel of experts, does this sound stupid? Should I worry about my worries?

Progenitorivox

This highly amusing animation was produced by the Consumers Union. (Yes, the publisher of Consumer Reports magazine.)

Opinion › funny     2005-03-14 12:25   ...1 comment
Your Ad Slogan

151 Countries, One Colin.

via the Advertising Slogan Generator

Other good ones include:

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The healing power of licking

Jen, for those who don’t know, has a theory about how to cure canker sores and other minor mouth irritation: Licking. Jen’s belief, unless I am mistaken, is that licking stimulates the “healing goodness” in the region. This chases away the canker, and restores the balance in the force. Or something.

Anyway, Dave Barry has gone on sabbatical. And his newspaper is reprinting chestnuts. This week’s chestnut concerns additional discoveries concerning the medical value of licking. It is available for reading here.

Jen’s Blog Syndicating

My partner Jen’s blog is now syndicating onto LiveJournal as: [ljuser]jensplanet

She’s been posting about the chemistry of food recently, but recent topics have also included the Unix command line, perl, boogie boarding, beaches, narcissism and Buddhism. So yeah. Read it.

I have decided that her personal motto should be “I’m thinking about it”. This is because it perfectly sums up the fact that she likes to research her interests extensively, and also because she likes to carefully consider new courses of action before acting (although this sometimes frustrates me when I want her to do something). The problem is that I really need to figure out what this motto is in Latin! All good mottos are in Latin… Although perhaps a Gaelic one would be more appropriate.

Movie Spoilers

Ok. I have something that I’d like to get off my chest.

What is with this new trend of giving away, like, frickin everything about a movie in the trailers? We went to see a movie last week and it showed about 5 trailers, each of which was about 2 minutes long and gave away all the twists in the plot.

This relentless parade of spoilers included a critical plot element in the upcoming film The Interpreter which is supposed to be a mystery! Mystery as in you’re not supposed to know what happens before you get to the cinema dammit!

The Yahoo synopsis for the movie A Scanner Darkly gives away crucial plot twists in that most excellent story (which, incidentally, looks like it may not butcher Philip K. Dick’s masterpiece). That movie also is supposed to have things you come to understand over time.

Several people have commented to me that audiences these days do not want to be surprised when going to a movie. This is so weird. What is the point of going to the movie when you know the outcome? Although I enjoy re-watching movies, I do not want the first time through to be a re-watching!

They need to develop a protocol for telling you not to watch if you don’t want to know. Maybe they could put a giant CONTROL-L on the screen or something… Geez…

A Plethora of Pretty Pommes

There. The title of this entry is sure to irritate Andrew.

I’m sitting in the living room, pretty much surrounded by iBooks. My old G3 is here (#1), as well as the iBook of the weirdo fonts (#2) and the spanky new iBook of the having half my files on it (#3). As well, Jen is in the office working on her old G3 (#not_appearing_in_this_film).

The goal of this entry is to bring you up to speed on the iBook situation. As you may recall, iBook #1’s screen gave out (again) and needed to be replaced. Hence, the order and subsequent delivery of iBook #2 (which looked wonky).

I talked my way through three phone support people to the ‘product specialist’ for iBooks at Apple. He went away for a week to talk to the designers of the iBook. After a THREE WEEK long game of phone tag I finally got in touch with him again, and he said they’d decided the problem was hardware. I had the choice of taking it in for a new logic board, or do a replacement. In the end I decided to order another G4 iBook, transfer my files onto it, and then return the old one. (A return option was offered to me because the issue was reported within 10 days of receipt.)

iBook #3 looks much better than iBook #2. Also, it was shipped from ASUS in China rather than from the Taiwanese factory (go go FedEx tracking) and so it has a different (nicer) keyboard and a nicer font for the ‘iBook G4’ under the monitor.

So now I can take in iBook #1 for service, and soon will be able to mail back iBook #2 for disposal, and then can enjoy iBook #3 — hopefully for a long time. I have a lot of power adaptors though… will have to sort that out.

Is it just me?

Is it just me, or is this (just received in the mailbox) a very strange advertisement:

Finally, pizza designed for dipping! A whole new way to enjoy pizza! Now the whole family can share in the fun. New Dippin’ Strips Pizza has 16 strips and 3 free delicious dipping sauces…

Umm…. Why are we dipping our pizza in sauces? And even if that was desirable, why does this new offering suddenly enable the whole family to ‘share in the fun’?

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